Becoming a happier person should not be rocket science
-“Life’s a bitch.”-
The world is constantly moving and so are human’s demands and needs.
What tends to remain constant is that humans are very fickle- we associate happiness with limited availability. Is there a societal norm that dictates a happiness quota per person? Is there any truth behind the phrase, “life’s a bitch”? Or was this a phrase that somebody made up to make themselves feel better about blaming negative experiences on an unavoidable factor rather than themselves. Becoming happier as a person involves realising that phrases like this are nonsense and a bit of an easy way out of taking responsibility.
Why is that life? I refuse to sit here and believe that life is the thing that causes my bills to double when I’m at my poorest. Or that life is the thing that got in the way of potential stardom.
Life is not a thing to be blamed, life is the necessary component for you to right those wrongs that have appeared. The world would be a much better place if we all just took responsibility of our own mistakes and problems instead of blaming something that can not help the situation at all. You can’t ask life to sort the issues with your family, or the weight that you have gained. Only you can do that. Life has given you the opportunity to be in world full of beauty and the possibility to fix any wrongs. We should not blame, but instead we should marvel at life.
-“Life sucks, and then you die.”-
Is this what life is all about? Why would anyone’s God ever waste time on such a precious thing such as life, if it were all meaningless and depressing? Take the Mayfly for example, or the “24 hour insect” as it is also known as. These flies spend most of their life under water as larvae and eventually emerge to the surface where they dry off their new wings. They then live their adult life for a normal period of 24 hours before they reproduce and die. The main reason for these flies to exist only seems to be for the reproduction of them. There can be trillions of these flies that live above water and some have even been seen dancing atop of it. Whether these flies know about their fate seeks to be discovered, but if we imagine that they do, they seem to get on with life anyway. Without having the above phrase embedded into their tiny brains, mayflies get on with it. And that’s not to say that Mayfly problems are less intimidating than human’s problems- mayflies live atop water and are frequently at the risk of being gobbled up by fish swimming underneath, especially when they are young and drying their wings.
-“Fight or Flight”-
We have a natural reaction to keep ourselves alive. If we find ourselves in a dangerous situation, we either show one or two reactions- fight or flight. Whichever way you react, both of these reactions exist for you to keep your life safe. We instinctively want to keep our lives safe and it can be a primal urge to protect it. You will have had dreams before where you are running from a monster or a bad guy or ferocious lion but you feel yourself stuck in one spot and not being able to get away no matter how hard you are running. The fact that you are giving your dream body everything you can to move forward is an example of how your body will take control of your mind if you are in danger and need to get the heck out of a situation.
The reason I am bringing these phrases to your attention is to see if you are familiar with them. Do you find yourself frequently blaming life for the crummy situation that you are finding yourself in? You might not even realise you are blaming life, but by saying things like “That’s life” as a response, you are. Its like we are giving an excuse to lazy people to not bother with happiness because no matter what happens, life will get in the way. I can assure you that life cannot get in your way- in fact that would just be impossible. We personalise life so that we speak about it like it is a person. Maybe we do this to make ourselves feel more comfortable with such a significant and sometimes intimidating topic perhaps so that we feel more powerful and less dependent on it. By humanizing and blaming life on things, we will never truly be happy.
Instead of repeating the annoying phrases above, please try to replace it with respect.
-“Life is beautiful”-
To become happier as a person, it is so incredibly important to be aware of the fact that “Happiness” is a man-made concept. Happiness does not have to be sacrificed for times where you find yourself a bit busier than normal or where your bills are slightly overdue. I believe that happiness should be a personal state and of which there are varying degrees of it.
Whenever I found myself feeling very happy, I would also find myself waiting for where it would all go tits up. Anticipation of a bad experience is one of the worst things you can put your mind through. You will find yourself questioning every action you are doing; every word you are speaking; every plan you are making, wondering if by doing these things you are going to sacrifice this euphoric feeling. Becoming happier is understanding that sometimes things will be outwith your control, but being able to accept them and find your own ways to deal with them.
If you find yourself feeling positive and happy, do not worry about things going downhill because in such a positive frame of mind, you are able to make changes to your life to prevent these from happening. When you are at your happiest, you are open to new possibilities and tend to act out your happiness, spreading that cheer. I believe in time, you can make happiness a full time feeling. I know, because I am there and can help you get there to. The initial stages of achieving true happiness are of realisation as you will be most of the time unaware of these seemingly obvious factors prohibiting your euphoria. Becoming happier should not be a chore- it should be what life is all about, for what is life without happiness? While nobody really knows the true extent of why life is life and why we are lucky enough to have it, we should absolutely not be blaming it for negative things happening to us! We need to realise that life is not out to get you- only yourself.
My action tips for you:
1. Stop blaming life so that you can become happier
2. Understand that Life cares about you and gives you the chance to experience true happiness
3. When you feel like you are struggling to go on, think of the mayflies
4. Understand that life is beautiful and become happier
5. Continue reading my tips on true happiness and achieve true happiness