This could be a pretty controversial topic and anybody offended easily should definitely leave. This is my first installment of my Tongue in Cheek Tuesdays which will be my sarcastic and cynical outlet. Although my website urges happiness and joy at all times, I must say that is not what my life is always like. One cannot simply stifle those days where a crack in the pavement justifies a 30 minute yell or rant over the incompetencies of the local council. This is how I keep my cool…. blast out the bad for all to hear!
Now onto the topic at hand…
I have been with my man, Tama for over 3 years now but feel like I have known him my whole life. *dry heave*
He is from Malawi which for those of you who do not know where this is, is in South Africa next to Zambia. He moved to Scotland about 4 years ago where he met the best thing ever… me.
We instantly clicked and have never looked back *dryer heave*
I do tend to get those looks on the streets when with Tama. You know the look where you are trying to relate the subject of me being with a black man to the whole “once you go black…” analogy. Is it true? Can she no longer appreciate the presence of a white male due to a bodily assumption?
Other times when I am out with tama, we may receive the cruel whip of racism and interracial couple fears. I will never forget the time when a woman, who was maybe around 60 something, walked past us and had to relook. It was as if she recognised someone and decided to go back to say hello! So naturally I opened myself up in a friendly manner awaiting her greeting. Little did I expect, she did not greet us. Instead she decided to let out her 55 years of rage and grey personality and attack us verbally shouting things like “your mother should be shot for letting you out with a black man!” Towards me.
What. A. Charmer.
Taking pictures of ourselves together has proven very difficult in the past. I am very white and pale and tama is pretty dark. This is something I never expected to have been an issue when dating a black guy but holy cow is it. One picture might be perfectly lit for me… a nice light or dark background with low camera lights. Damn when I have these settings sorted for a selfie shoot I am as happy as Larry. For Tama, a nice light background and perhaps flash would be ideal. Now… put the two together and not only do you have a confused photographer but also one either very blown out version of me and a perfect vision of Tama… or a perfect picture of me next to a pair of white teeth in mid air. It can be tricky!!! But with determination we have figured out our best angles… flashes… lighting etc and we can take cute couple pictures like everybody else.
Languages. An interesting fact you can all take away today is that in Malawi, they speak a language called Chichewa. I often forget that English is not Tamas ‘s first language as he is thankfully so fantastic at speaking it and has become a pro thanks to my tricky Scottish accent and him trying to keep up. The difference in language does not come into play until I am spending time with Tama and his friends or Tama and his family and boy do I feel like an idiot and spare sitting in the room trying to blend in by laughing when his brother laughs and hoping for the best.
Music is such a national treasure no matter where you are. I am so thankful for Tama coming from Malawi and introducing me to a large selection of African music and it just makes you want to dance and bounce and sing and tap. That was probably the whitest way I could have put that, but I am sure you will understand what I mean. I have been introduced to Dance Hall and a multitude of artists who are popular in Malawi and I have never looked back! You should listen to a band called Freshly Ground and hear their song “pot belly”, I swear you cannot listen to this song and not feel overjoyed.
My family are an all-white family and Tama’s is all-black. So when we go to each other’s family events, we always stand out like sore thumbs. Don’t get me wrong; our families love us and us being together (or I think anyways- if they don’t then I am blissfully unaware), but the pictures always make me laugh and feel great about the family that I have come into through meeting Tama.
If you are dating somebody from a different race, embrace it! Its awesome having such differently toned people being together and always quite a conversation starter.